17 In Mindset

Why compassion is > than being judgmental

 

On a daily basis it’s so easy to judge others, or to look at someone and wonder why they are the way that they are, or envy their lives. This brings up so many negative feelings. We have to realize that when we judge someone we are judging them based off of whether we think they are better or less than us and this isn’t okay. Everyone goes through shit, everyone has struggles, everyone finds success at different times and we need to learn to give ourselves, and other people, room to be who we are instead of judging them and looking down on them. So many awful things are happening in our society; natural disasters, the addiction epidemic, mental illness, divorce, disease, and single parent families everywhere. So many people are struggling and I don’t think we are doing our best to be compassionate. I think that we are constantly in a state of judgement, we judge one another based off of what we see on the surface. We never go deeper than the surface because we are too worried about the filters that we use in our own lives to cover up the fact that we to, are not perfect. We don’t really strive to be compassionate, we are worried about ourselves and that hinders us from looking at the bigger picture. I honestly want to do better, I want to be better, and my hope is that we all start to be better. We truly need to be good neighbors to one another. We all need to have a lot more compassion and a lot less judgement towards other people. We have no idea what people are going through, we have no idea what their story is, we have no idea what they have gone through, or what they are going through. IF we have time to judge we have time to be compassionate and we have time to reach out and get to know the people we are judging. We are meant to have connection, we are meant to support others, to uplift others, to be kind, and we aren’t doing enough about it.

I didn’t want this post to just be my opinion I wanted you all to get a perspective not only from myself but from other people who go out of their way to be encouragers, to be the light, and who show compassion to others daily; so here’s what they said:

Rachel Turner

I was bullied a lot in school, and my dad would always tell me be kind to them and go out of my way to compliment them and I was always so confused. I didn’t understand why or how I could be kind to someone who had hurt me so much. 

As I got older, and grew a business on the foundation of my dads words “be kind”, it became a way of life. Compassion, kindness–real. 

Compassion means you see the common humanity in where you’re at or what you’re experiencing and meeting that with a non judgmental attitude and what we all want as humans is to feel connected. To feel less alone, and to be seen. 

Compassion, empathy and showing honest encouragement towards other humans is how I feel connected and grounded in my everyday life, and each time we can meet someone with compassion, they feel less alone too. 

Lauren Blankenship

I’ve always felt that compassion starts with yourself. If you can’t be compassionate towards yourself, how can you expect to be compassionate towards others? Judgment is a distorted perception that tends to lie within our core when we feel unstable with ourselves or don’t have enough information about someone or something. Begin by being compassionate with yourself first and then watch it spill out into others. I’m a big believer that compassion is contagious and I go out of my way to encourage others to be compassionate because right now, the world really needs compassionate people. When we open up to meet each other at the soul level, you are forced to be vulnerable and show compassion towards one another. This also allows you to create a deeper understanding and any judgments that may have formed, often slip away.  At the end of the day it’s important to remember that we are all human and just trying to survive to the best of our abilities

Jamie Klausner

For myself, coming from a place of judgment has just never been an option for me. I’m sure that this is just a value that my parents instilled into me from early on. I feel like I’ve always had a sense that you never know what someone else has gone through in their life, so who are you to judge them. That the golden rule should apply unless someone is crossing a boundary or hurting you mentally, physically or otherwise.

Judgement is so easy – especially when you don’t know what a person’s life looks like behind the scenes. And with (superficial) information about all of us so readily available at fingertips these days, and with all of us evolving to receive information faster and digest it more quickly, it’s easier now more than ever to make snap judgements. To assume that we have all of the information that we need is easy. But life isn’t easy. What makes more sense – and what we all need to work on – is not judging based on what we see. And also to try to remember that not all lives are equal. Not everyone has had the opportunity of devoted parents, decent education, food in the pantry growing up, a safe neighborhood to live in as a child, and relatives who can be trusted and who aren’t predators.

Remember that even given the best opportunities in life, not everyone is starting with a full deck. Even when you think that you don’t have everything you need, there is ALWAYS someone who is suffering more than you are. Try to put themselves in your shoes. Try to sit and think about WHY they act before you RE-act. Try to put yourself in a place where you are reading behind the lines and understanding what is influencing their actions. You don’t have to accept everyone into your life and allow people in who are toxic. But you can also make the decision to put aside your own experience, and step into theirs to get a better understanding.

Sarah Cooper

Before having my daughter I was a very judgmental person. She has taught me to be compassionate to others especially people I do not know. We judge others to feel better about ourselves and after bringing my daughter into this world it woke me up and made me realize that no one is perfect not even myself! I’ve grown to become less judgmental and more compassionate to everyone in hopes that my daughter will grow up to be compassionate as well.

Taylor Flegle

You should never judge a book by its cover. You never know what that person is going through. You never know what life has thrown at them. Health issues, financial situations, marriage problems, recent job loss, or family problems. I am a person who has been dealt with every single one of these life challenges being judged the whole way through my life. Being judged for other family members actions. I’ve been thrown very hard life struggles. Many mornings waking up not knowing how I am going to move on from the damage done. But every single day it gets done. Everyone has their own struggles. I do not have the right to judge someone else when my own life is a train wreck. Nor does any one else have that right. Going the extra step to smile at someone or even a simple hello could make that person’s day. We are all human. Everyone makes mistakes. Be compassionate instead judgmental.

Libby Perritt

Encouraging others and being compassionate makes you act selfless. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own lives, it’s important to stop and take time out to encourage and uplift others. You never know what others are going through or when they need that encouraging word or act from you. If we all get in a habit of serving others more and ourselves a little less it will even in turn make you more joyful to see how you’ve possibly impacted their life.

Brianna Lombardo

When we give the word “compassion” an image, most of us will think about the images we see on various news outlets or what we witness on our daily commute to work. We think of adopting an animal from a shelter or feeding the homeless or starting up a collection for those who lost everything in some sort of disaster. These are all actions we associate with displaying compassion, but it goes so much deeper than just simple acts of kindness demonstrated on a surface level.  

As I think about how I practice compassion, I know it gives me the chance to see things from another perspective, to take the seat of the person going through a rough time and really understand where they’re coming from, how they feel. Before I take it to a place of judging a person for their actions, I remember just how different each life is and how we never really know what’s going on unless we’re that person experiencing it. So who are we to judge? Why throw stones when everyone is flawed and no one is without a skeleton or two in their closet? For me, compassion is about being a human. Accept the blemishes and try to see from someone else’s shoes—in the end, we’re all looking to be loved and understood even if we don’t always make sense. For the sake of this world and the state it is in, I think showing kindness and empathy are ways to cultivate peace between people. If we all took a step back from the lives we lead, we’d be able to see the multitude of unique stories each person has to share and that we are all doing the best we can.

October Henson

Life is too difficult to turn away from compassion and lean towards judgment. We are all facing different things and I try to find the beauty in everyone’s story. Once you start to show yourself compassion, it is a lot easier to put that back into other people. Stop judging yourself and start loving. A life of compassion is full of understanding, love, and support. That’s the kind of life that I want to be a part of.

Samantha Hearne

Why do I go out of my way to encourage others; 

I believe that we all need a cheerleader – someone who will support us when we don’t want to support ourselves. In my experiences, having someone that cares for you, invests in you and wants to help you, makes SUCH a positive impact. 

My passion is to guide every women to overcome their anxieties and be the fierce and confident beauty they can be. Negative mindset can take over our lives and I want to change that. 1 person at a time.

Being compassionate is something I pride myself in:

We all have our own journey, own feelings, own story – and when we share it with the world, we are saying we want to move on and make a better tomorrow. So for anyone that opens up to me, I treat it like the most amazing day of their life. 

It’s such a special moment when you bare your soul and story and I always treat it with love and kindness. I treat others how I would like to be treated – it is that simple. My journey has lead me: 

To anxiety and mindset coaching and I am more passionate than anything else, that anyone suffering from negative mental barriers and anxiety CAN move forward, CAN be happier and CAN smile everyday. That is my mission for the world. Being judgemental only shows your true character and is a reflection on you as a person. Have an open heart ad Mind and everything will flow, that is a dear value of mine

Thank you to all of you who contributed to this blog post!

Alexa

 

 

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17 Comments

  • Reply
    Rebecca
    September 19, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    I am such a compassionate person and I am so grateful to be this way. I get to connect and comfort on a deeper level than most and i love it!

    • Reply
      healthydashofsass
      September 20, 2017 at 10:52 am

      Yes being compassionate allows you to truly relate to others 🙂

  • Reply
    kellyypricee
    September 19, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    I LOVE THIS!!! I write about this all the time. People are so quick to judge and for absolutely no reason. I loved reading what everyone else had to say. This was a great post!!

    • Reply
      healthydashofsass
      September 20, 2017 at 10:51 am

      Thank you so much for your feedback, I am glad that you enjoyed it! Yes I think it’s important to get the perspective of many different people ❤️

  • Reply
    sublimemessages
    September 19, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    letting others express their feelings in your article is a great idea. many don’t talk about being judgemental. loved it totally!

  • Reply
    hdiakandru
    September 19, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    Love this. I would love to live in a society where compassion was our natural response instead of quick judgment.

    • Reply
      healthydashofsass
      September 20, 2017 at 10:50 am

      I complete agree, it would be nice for compassion to be our go to!

  • Reply
    Takeara
    September 19, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    I feel like everyone is constantly judging others but they don’t want to be judged. Society teaches us this type of behavior and we just run with it. I love how you got and incorporated others’ opinions in this! Great post!!

    • Reply
      healthydashofsass
      September 20, 2017 at 10:49 am

      Thank you so much for your feedback, I complete agree we do just run with it!

  • Reply
    adjeffers
    September 20, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    Baffles me why people are so judgy. No one on this earth is perfect so we all have opportunities to grow.

    • Reply
      healthydashofsass
      September 20, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      I completely agree we all have so many opportunities to grow!

  • Reply
    Chels
    September 20, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    I love hearing all these stories! I think the different perspectives really proves the point and puts compassion on display for everyone to see.

    • Reply
      healthydashofsass
      September 20, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      Yes I completely agree, it’s nice to see people go out of their way to be compassionate to others!

  • Reply
    fatima
    September 20, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Very great post! It’s good to see people’s point of view on this!

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