The Many Faces Of Perseverance Blog Series. I thought it would be nice to take the filter out of our daily lives and to be able to relate to many different people about struggles that we each face. I am learning everyday to embrace the struggles we go through, instead of fearing them. I am learning that everything we go through is putting us on our path and helping us grow. I am learning that even when its uncomfortable and hard that we are learning so much about ourselves and that our struggles are shaping us into a better version of ourselves. I hope you gain guidance, inspiration, and support from this series – Alexa
Amanda, What made you want to share your story?
I am so thrilled to share my story (or at least a piece of it) because I truly believe we can all learn from one another and be inspired to make a change. The tables have turned on me here, as I have my own brand on a mission to share, connect and inspire women through their journey. A big part of this is by reaching out to women and asking them to share their fitness/health journey with our community on the blog. So today, I am so happy to be a part of that movement myself on Alexa’s blog. So here it is…
“See, I can take my past with me, but I can’t change it. Sometimes you need to leave yourself behind.” – Lady Gaga
Never has a quote resonated with me so much, especially since up until this point, I had been trying so hard to change my past instead of creating my future. I am still very much in the growth stage and have entered this new chapter of my life where I feel a rebirth coming.
I know it sounds moody and maybe even a little cheesy, but I don’t really know how else to describe it. It’s like, I know my path and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there is no train coming to take me there. So, I need to build the train, walk, run, skip or bike to get me to that light. Along the way pick up new lessons and knowledge so when I hit that light I am nothing but prepared. This isn’t to say that I haven’t come far on my journey, or that I am waiting around for someone to save me (although, at times that would be helpful lol). I am just not where I need to be quite yet. It’s coming and it is a work in progress, but I haven’t felt that balance that I am seeking in quite some time.
To really understand what I am talking about, instead of scratching your head and thinking “what the fuhhh is this bish talking about?”, I’ll take you back to a moment in my life when I had a strong desire for something more and to really change myself for the better.
Growing up, for some reason I always hated the idea of letting people down. To a certain extent, I still do today, but I put a lot of pressure on myself. This was completely self-destructive. The more pressure I put on myself, the more I would actually let people down – it’s like I was so nervous to fail that I ended up doing just that and looking like a real fool at the same time. I was sad, frustrated and straight up disappointed in myself, because I felt like a fake. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just be my whole self and why I felt like I needed to be so perfect – that wasn’t what people needed from me.
That type of attitude led me down a really dark road full of anger, bad relationships and vices – a cycle of bad behavior and regret. I knew I needed to change, I also knew that it wasn’t going to happen overnight, and it would be a life long journey that I needed to embrace. So, I did just that. I embraced it and have been taking baby steps towards bettering myself, achieving my goals, being kinder to those special people in my life (and even complete strangers) and just having an overall better quality of life.
Each week I setup small goals that will lead me down that tunnel to my place of balance. I feel proud, and happy that I finally have some proper direction and REAL (not fleeting) motivation to fulfill my purpose. I finally started my own business, WOLFE CO. (known to most as @wolfefit.co), with a sole purpose to help other women feel empowered, inspired and connected to their journey. This mission is to help them come to the realization that they can get through the hard times in their life, and to know, that no matter what, no matter how dark that effing tunnel is, there is always a way to get to the light, you just have to create it.