The Many Faces Of Perseverance Blog Series. I thought it would be nice to take the filter out of our daily lives and to be able to relate to many different people about struggles that we each face. I am learning everyday to embrace the struggles we go through, instead of fearing them. I am learning that everything we go through is putting us on our path and helping us grow. I am learning that even when its uncomfortable and hard that we are learning so much about ourselves and that our struggles are shaping us into a better version of ourselves. I hope you gain guidance, inspiration, and support from this series – Alexa
Bryce, what made you want to share your story with others?
I wanted to share my story in hopes that a female struggling with the same things will be able to see that she’s not alone & she can make it though this.I never want her to stop trying for the life she’s dreamed of & if I can help or connect with just 1 person, then I’ve done my job.
Growing up, I always dreamed of being a mommy. In my adolescence I told people I wouldn’t have kids, even though I knew I would have some one day. Throughout my 5 year relationship with my husband, I never even thought we would have problems conceiving.
That was until about 9 months ago…
My husband & I got married on September 17, 2016. We’ve been trying to have a baby of our own since that very day. After about 6 months of being off birth control & 3 months of trying, we decided that I would go check in with my OB/GYN just to be safe. For another 3 months, she put me on a fertility med that we hoped would jump start my cycle & get us on the right track. Once those 3 months were up & no pregnancy had resulted, I was at what I thought was the lowest point of my life mental health wise. My husband convinced me to take a month off for my own sanity.
After that month break, we decided that it would be a good idea for me to go back to the OB/GYN & see what else she could do for us. She put me on 2 different fertility meds for 3 more months, hoping that using them together would not only jump start my cycle, but would also aid in ovulation. Those 3 months ended & still no pregnancy…
At this point, we were nearing our first anniversary & desperately wanted a baby. I called my OB/GYN’s office to let them know that the 3 rounds of infertility meds didn’t result in pregnancy & we were ready for the next step. A nurse from the office informed me that there was nothing else they could do for me, & they would need to refer us to a Reproductive Specialist if we wanted to continue trying for our own children.
In that moment, I was lost. I had just been diagnosed with infertility & honestly, I had a mental breakdown after that phone call. In the middle of the day, while I was at work… I felt like all of my dreams & plans were being ripped from me. For about two weeks after that phone call, I dreaded our appointment at the fertility clinic. My husband, bless his heart, was so excited to finally get some answers & a game plan. I, on the other hand, never wanted to talk or even think about our appointment. To me, our appointment looked full of disappointments, tests, & more diagnoses.
This week, we attended our appointment with the Reproductive Specialist. While filling out a lot of paperwork & talking to our new doctor, he seemed to know exactly what was happening. He abruptly asked if we could do a pelvic ultrasound, & I agreed. Within just a few moments of starting the ultrasound, he was able to show my husband & I my beautiful, egg-bearing ovaries… Covered in cysts. It was at that moment that I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
PCOS. A hormone disorder. May cause obesity, acne, abnormal menstruation, excessive hair growth, &… you guessed it, infertility.
After a mini mental breakdown in the parking lot, I pulled myself together (with the help of my awesome hubby) & I decided that I wasn’t going to let this get me down. Since that appointment, I’ve done tons of research. I’ve found that it’s still possible for us to have babies. It’s still possible for me to carry all of our babies. It may just take us a little bit longer & we may have some elevated risks, but in the end I know that being able to hold a perfect mixture of my husband & myself in my arms will be totally worth it.
This last year has been the hardest year of my life emotionally & physically. I constantly struggled with depression & a roller coaster of emotions. Infertility is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It’s truly heart-wrenching & it feels like your body is failing you. I always say, “Infertility is like grieving the life of someone who has never even existed…”
The truth is, infertility & PCOS affect more people than we even realize. Roughly 1 in 10 couples in the U.S. experience infertility. Roughly 1 in 8 women in the U.S. are diagnosed with PCOS.
My husband & I are the 1 in 10.
I am the 1 in 8.
Honestly, I’m writing this blog post to not only shed some light on what infertility & PCOS are like, but because I know that there’s a chance that a female with either of those things will read this & know she’s not alone. Throughout this entire journey, that’s exactly how I felt. Alone. No one talks about this kind of stuff, so we often suffer through it silently.
If you deal with infertility, PCOS, or even miscarriage/infant loss… YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. Find your resources ASAP. Get yourself a therapist or a 3rd party that you can talk to. Download the GLOW app & you’ll find a community of women that are going through the same things you are. Join a support group. Follow all of the blogs & youtubers, Instagrams & Pinterest boards. My biggest piece of advice is to confide in your partner, parents, friends, & family. Keeping it from them only makes your emotional struggle harder. They don’t want you go through this alone anymore than you want to…