The Many Faces Of Perseverance Blog Series. I thought it would be nice to take the filter out of our daily lives and to be able to relate to many different people about struggles that we each face. I am learning everyday to embrace the struggles we go through, instead of fearing them. I am learning that everything we go through is putting us on our path and helping us grow. I am learning that even when its uncomfortable and hard that we are learning so much about ourselves and that our struggles are shaping us into a better version of ourselves. I hope you gain guidance, inspiration, and support from this series – Alexa
Kyle, what made you want to share your story with others?
I want to share my story with other people because in this social media world I think we only show what goes well in our lives. I think we conveniently leave out the bad things that happen because it is either embarrassing or we are trying to keep up with everyone else and it seems weak to share struggles. I am in a great place now but a year ago I was far from it. Currently in grad school with plans to start my own online personal training and mental consulting business at the start of 2018 along with big dreams for my future. I believe perspective is important. If you read biographies of individuals who have made a tremendous impact on this world, they share their struggles and low points in life. You learn more from losing than you do from winning. What I am about to share was my first ever blog post on my website: www.rappflex.com. I hope you enjoy my story and please follow me on social media. Facebook: Kyle Rapp. Twitter: KyleatRappflex. Instagram: Ktatrappflex. Snapchat: kylestyle17.
“God, I thought we were in this together. I thought we had a plan. A purpose. We were supposed to do some great things here.”- Tim Tebow. Over the past year I have struggled with depression. I don’t use depression lightly at all. I’ve felt sad before but this was… different. Being sad and being depressed are two completely different feelings. Sad to me is this single faceted emotion over a single or couple of events in one’s life. “Gloomy”, “Mournful”, and “Down” would be great synonyms for it. Depression is a whole different animal. It’s an everyday struggle to keep being who you are. It is not feeling valuable to the world around you. It is not being able to try anything new. It doesn’t allow you to elevate your standard to progress and will completely demolish any progress you make. It makes you tired, in pain, and not want to be around people because you are not yourself. You believe if you spend a lot of time alone you will get better but that most of the time has the adverse effect. I have felt all of these things. I could sleep for 12 hours, go immediately lay on the couch, and sleep for another 4 hours. I didn’t talk to friends or family because I didn’t want the reason I was so depressed brought up. Thank God for my parents.
Before all of these emotions hit me, I drove back from New York. Had a great job but decided it was time to chase my dream. I believed God had sent me enough signs to chase it that I ought to give it a shot. Like all of us do I had a plan in place. God looked down and laughed. I say this being a God fearing Christian who believes he has a plan for all of us. He clearly had other plans for me. I did not get into any college for my master’s degree last year (2016). I took a huge leap and chance with my heart and that failed as well. I was living back home. My plan had been utterly destroyed. I didn’t know what to do with my life. I thought this was the path I was going down. The entire year felt like it was in pause. The months following I worked and went to the gym. That was it. It wasn’t for a couple months after that I started working towards something tangible again. I tell you this because I know I am not alone. Whether you’ve experienced anxiety or short or long term depression, it sucks the very being out of you and the worst part of all of it? It takes away your time. Time is the most valuable thing we have and there’s no getting it back.
I want to share this because I am better for going through the adversity (in retrospect). It took me till about May of last year to decide I am not going to let this beat me. I will be better than this. I will learn from it, become more resilient, and be a better person for it. I have beaten it. Funny thing happened along the way. Scrolling through podcasts one day (that purple button people never use and put it in a folder with the rest of the useless apps) I stumbled upon a Sport’s Motivation Podcast. Intrigued, I started listening. I hope Niyi reads this someday. It blew my mind. This guy was a former NFL fullback for the New Orleans Saints. Decided he wanted to be a firefighter after that and DID it. With kids and a wife depending on him, he decided to follow his dream against the odds and started his own Peak Mindset Consulting business. This podcast got me out of my funk and I decided to double down on this career and learning how to build myself up again to attack these goals. I could have given up. Hell someone suggested I try and become a gym teacher. Thought about the military. In the end, I didn’t give up on my dream. “You gonna let a couple no’s step you off your dreams?” No I’m not. So I listened and the more he talked the more I wanted it. Fell in love with the performance side of psychology. I said that’s what I want to do. Make people the best versions of themselves. How do I do that? How does he do it? A year ago I would have questioned if a career like this even existed. Now it is all I want.
Since this blog post on April 3rd I had an interview with Niyi, became apart of his I’m Not You LLC team, and just recently became his assistant, marketing director, and producer of both of his podcasts. Your life can turn around in a very short amount of time if you believe in yourself, work your ass off, and never give up on your dreams and purpose in life. I want everyone to know you are not alone. I want to make such an impact on this world that I have a commanding voice in suicide prevention and depression aid through my work. I want my impact to expand to humane societies and childhood cancer aid as well. If I have one piece of advice to end with: Never limit the scope of your impact on this world. Every single person has a purpose bigger than themselves. It is your job to find it and live your purpose to make a lasting impact on this world.