Learning to Love myself
I’m a busy girl. I’m a “do-er,” a go getter, ambitious, and a total rebel. These are all qualities I’m learning to love about myself, but the journey to self acceptance has been anything but easy. I know so many creative women can relate, because I hear their stories all the time.
I’ve recently been learning about the concept of rest. While being ambitious and always going a hundred miles an hour has been an advantage for me as a creative entrepreneur, it’s also at times lead to exhaustion and burnout.
I literally couldn’t figure out how to rest, relax, or practice self care. I hated getting quiet and being still. I mean, I would literally get anxiety if I just sat and watching TV with my husband on a Sunday. I always had to find a way to fit in a little more work, not out of joy, but out of obligation. Self care just felt like another task to cross of my to do list as an indication that I was doing this business babe thing the right way.
I was having a conversation one day with a great friend about some of the challenges we were facing in our lives and businesses and my struggles with rest came up. She pointed out that when we have trouble being still, it’s often because we don’t like the things we hear when we’re still and silent. That’s right, the things we say to ourselves, the lies we repeat so often that we begin to believe them.
Shoot. That really hit me hard. I knew I had issues with negative self talk, but I had no idea that could be affecting my ability to rest and relax. If I’m being honest, I can be downright nasty to myself when all is quiet.
You’re not good enough.
You’re fat and ugly.
You’re not an expert.
No one cares about anything you say.
You don’t deserve to be happy.
These things may sound harsh, but it’s what I tell myself way more often than I car to admit. So I stay busy.
My friend also said that those horrible things we say to ourselves are total lies. Its the enemy’s way of keeping us from reaching our greatest potential. If we find ourselves repeating the same lies over and over again, it’s an indication that our truth is being hidden away.
She suggested writing down some of the lies that pop up frequently on one piece of paper and on another piece of paper write the opposite of that lie. Then take those lies and rip them up, burn them, whatever you want to do, but get rid of them entirely. Then you’re only left with the truth.
You are more than enough
You’re absolutely beautiful
You know more than enough to help someone else
People love hearing encouragement from you
You’re energetic and love getting things done
You deserve to live a life of complete joy.
Now when I take some time for myself to just rest and be still I know how to handle those mean voices in my head. As soon as I tell myself something negative, I look at my paper of truth. I’m equipped with positivity and encouragement and it feels so freeing.
I’m still working through learning to love myself, as everything else in life, it’s a journey. This exercise has helped me so so much lately. It’s not only allowing my mind to rest, but it’s also giving me more confidence in myself. If you ever struggle with your confidence or self talk, don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re all in this together and I believe community and connection is vital to joy and growth.
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