What is Your Community Rooted In?
You know that saying “Nothing brings you closer than hating the same things”? I used to think that was hilarious and so true. I would send it to my friends because that was totally us. It’s a funny tweet but an unhealthy and even toxic basis for a friendship.
I realized not too long ago that friendships rooted in a mutual dislike or hatred of the same things or people would eventually unravel. That feeling could easily be turned back on me by the same people I had told my deepest secrets, thoughts, and fears and I didn’t think they would hesitate to use them against me.
When you’re in your mid-20s, you shouldn’t have to worry about your friends “using something against you.” It’s such an immature term, but then I realized basing friendship in mutual dislike is immature. It’s not sustainable, it’s not healthy, and it will keep you in a negative mindset. Basing anything in negativity will continue to be negative.
Is there anything wrong with sharing dislikes with your friends? No, absolutely not. But when you realize that people you dislike or behaviors you hate are the constant topic of conversation, you need to examine those relationships.
As a young adult, community is so important. You choose who you spend time with, you choose who’s going to be part of your life. After college especially is when you begin to build an inner circle and your community becomes who you are. What is that community rooted in? Is your community encouraging you to be a better, healthier, more positive version of yourself? Or is your community toxic, leaving you feeling negative after every interaction?
The people around you will shape you, intentionally or unintentionally. My advice is to seek out friendships with people that you want to be like. Making friends is hard, but important. Don’t cling to toxicity because that’s all you know. Build your community intentionally and be certain that it’s rooted in positivity.